Microsoft word - race report p s we're bad!.docx

Race Report – ARA Mountain Designs QLD 2011 RAW Course Mixed Team
‘…P.S. We’re BAD!’
Leading up to the event…

S: “Remember we entered that Mountain Designs Adventure Race way back – it’s
this weekend”
P: (Silence and a blank look)
Equipment…

Kitted out in his ‘n’ hers Gary Fisher 29ers and Salomon trail shoes; hydro packs, a
compass but hardly any idea how to use it and matching green shirts (‘cos green
goes fast).
Other Equipment…

1 x appalling bad sense of direction (P)
1 x appalling short temper (S)
The day before the event…
A sleep-in until 12pm and some quiet contemplation while nursing Friday night’s
hangover.
The morning of the event…

BAD040 won’t start.
“The old girl’s just cold”

After much coaxing and treating the neighbours to a black diesel exhaust-belching
turnover at 6am on a Sunday, we rumble off up the Bruce, hoping this will be our only
‘mechanical’ of the day.

On Arrival…

Immediate visit to the Jungle Bean van = race nutrition taken care of.
Registration…

Collect goodies bag, see that 112 is our lucky number for the day and apply
temporary Icebreaker tatts in a blatant attempt to score more freebies later on.
Planning…

What planning?
Race Brief…

Engage “she’ll be right” attitude. After all, if we get lost, we should just head due east,
yeah?
During the Event…
Took off at a sprightly stroll towards the maps for the initial Rogaine leg, where S
identifies a key deficiency in the team skill set and vows to enroll both of us in
orienteering lessons (if we make it out of the wilderness). Reiterates this point at
several stages throughout the day.
The Course…

Managed to find the first two Rogaine CPs no worries. After S takes a compass
bearing P assumes control and decides a ‘shortcut’ directly south down into a gully,
across a swamp and through some nasty bladed grass is the way to go to get to our
final Rogaine CP, (S had decided to lose the gaiters right before the start – fatal
mistake) only to find everyone else had taken a nicely slashed fire trail to the target
and got there 5 minutes earlier. Pity the poor souls who followed us but that’ll learn
‘em!
Checked in at HQ and commenced the trek leg. Blunder through more scrub.
Stagger up and down a few hills. Charge through mud, nearly lose shoe. Repeat.
Arrived back at HQ for second check-in very glad to see our wheels. Took a wrong
track out of transition resulting in an extra 500 metres of scenic touring. P has a
frustrating time trying to coach S in correct gear selection on the run but ‘The Garys’
are absolute weapons, handle the muddy sections superbly and we smash the next
couple of CPs before arriving at the paddling leg.
We select a red one. S sits fore and captains the vessel. P’s rationalises that all the
weight should be aft, to facilitate steering and keep the nose up. We experiment with
a variety of paddling techniques in attempt to gain forward motion.
“Ten power strokes! Impenetrable water lilies ahoy! Ramming-speed!”

Ultimately we cursed (and zigzagged) from one end of the lake to the other as we
wrestled with our ungainly goat-boat, gazing longingly at the few double-sculls lying
idle back on shore and wishing we could have borrowed one of them.
Got back on the bike, pumped down a few mixed nuts and rode off in search of HQ
via a final few CPs.
Check Points…

Got them all!
Transition Areas…

We leave ‘The Garys’; P forgets to remove his helmet prior to running off on the final
obstacle course (what a turkey).
S tries to run ten paces in front but given the ‘team members must remain in close
proximity at all times’ rule; there is no denying we’re together. Turns out he had the
last laugh when S bumps her head while negotiating a tunnel.
After the Race…

“Jungle Bean (gasp), flat white (gasp) a Jumbo please” = post race hydration taken
care of.
Prize Giving…

The Spot Prize Gods shine on us and deliver a 12-month subscription to Outer Edge.
The Next Day…

Sorest trapezii this side of the southern hemisphere!

Source: http://www.adventureraceaustralia.com.au/Race%20Reports/Qld-2011-PS-%20We're-Bad!.pdf